Sides face, grand square
I saw it on TV and I thought it was a shame
It was a man dressed like a woman, and he had a boy's name
Reverse
Then I heard it on the radio while I was in the tub
Now what in the world is this thing they call the Culture Club?
Circle left
I guess it's some old boy from England making a million bucks
Left allemande and promenade
Too many nights of calling, loosing football bets
Lately I'd do anything to get out of debt

Heads promenade now half way around the ring
Gonna walk right in do a right & left thru
Turn the girl and then
You square thru and get me 4 hands around the ring
Pass thru, allemande left and weave the ring you know
Where's the dress? (Hey, gimme those high heeled shoes)
Where's the dress?
Swing and promenade
I might close them halls down, cause a few arrests
But if it makes some money, hey, where's the dress?

Sides face, grand square
I'm going to hire me a nurse to tote my purse
And I'll keep it full of root beer
Then I'll get me a girl to drive my truck
And one to tease my hair
4 ladies promenade inside that ring
Get on home, swing your man and promenade
I can still go fishing and wear my old blue jeans
But when it comes to showtime, I'll be a country Queen

Four Country Queens promenade inside that ring
Get on home and swing your boy/girl
Join up hands, circle to the left, go round the ring
Allemande left and weave the ring
I'll become Boy (your name) and look real cute
Swing and promenade
I can still go fishing and wear my old blue jeans
But when it comes to showtime, I'll be a country Queen