Time to celebrate the season, haven't eaten all day
My tummy is growling 'cause I've been saving up space
I've got my place at the table, can't fit no more on my plate
I've got my fork in my hand ready to stuff my face

So bring on the turkey, potatoes, casserole dishes
'Cause I ain't messing around with them buttoned up britches
You got them skinny jeans on, girl, I feel sorry for you
'Cause I just tried everything, and I'm going back for round 2

I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)
Spandex and Lycra, you better work it for me
'Cause I'm about to expand this band of elasticity
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)

Ask me where I got 'em, Amazon at my door
And if I wear this pair out, I'm gonna buy me some more
I got leftovers waiting in the fridge for repeating
Give me a nap and an hour, you know they gonna get eaten

So bring on the turkey, potatoes, casserole dishes
'Cause I ain't messing around with them buttoned up britches
Can't get my skinny jeans on, but don't feel sorry for me
'Cause I just tried everything, and I'm going back for round 3

I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)
Hey, Spandex and Lycra, you better work it for me
'Cause I'm about to expand this band of elasticity
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)

Fruitcake, I'll try it
Ambrosia, I'll try it
Aunt Bertha's 'nana pudding with a cherry on top
Cookies, I'll have some
Oh Gingerbread, leave no crumbs
Guzzle down some egg nog, even though I'm 'bout to pop

I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)

So bring on the turkey, potatoes, casserole dishes
'Cause I ain't messing around with them buttoned up britches
And when you think that I'm done, and I'm laid out on the floor
No no no don't let me fool ya, I got some room for some more

With my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
I got my stretchy pants on (stretchy, stretchy)
Oh oh oh... my stretchy pants on (stretchy pants)
Mmm I got my stretchy pants on ya'll (stretchy, stretchy)

Santa ain't got nothing on me