Won't you attend a party down at my house tonight?
Is that an invitation without a stipulation?
There's just one stipulation. (ha-ha!)
I thought I had you right
I draw the line on just one woman
Who-o can I invite?

You can bring Pearl, she's a darn nice girl, but don't bring Lulu
Can I bring Nan?
Bet your life you can, but don't bring Lulu
Lulu has the kind of smile that makes fellas walk a mile
And when she struts her stuff around
London bridge is fallin' down

If I bring cake and Porterhouse steak, can I bring Lulu?
Lulu gets blue and she goes coo-coo like the clock upon the shelf
She's the kind of smarty who breaks up every party
Hulla-ba-loo-loo, don't bring Lulu, I'll bring her myself

We both went to a party, a real high-toned affair
And then along came Lulu, as wild as any Zulu
She started in to Charleston, and how the boys did stare
But when she did the hula-hoo, then she got the air

You can bring Peg with the wooden leg, but don't bring Lulu
Can I bring Vye with the old glass eye?
But don't bring Lulu
Lulu eats just like a horse: sauerkraut and garlic salt
I smelled onions on her breath and I cried myself to death

Can I bring Ruth with the rubber tooth?
But don't bring Lulu
Lulu's OK, but when she gets gay you should see the cops arrive
When she starts in singing, police clubs start in swinging
Hulla-ba-loo-loo, don't bring Lulu, not while she's alive

You can bring Flo, 'cause her pa's got dough, but don't bring Lulu
You can bring Min and her double chin, but don't bring Lulu
Lulu thinks she's doing fine when she sings Sweet Adeline:
Oh, but when she hits high C, she drives out the family

You can bring sweets and pickled pigs feet, but don't bring Lulu
Lulu goes bugs and she chews up rugs when she yells "Ain't this the life"
She's the kind stops yawning, we won't go home 'til morning
Hulla-ba-loo-loo, don't bring Lulu, she might know the wife

Ha-ha-ha!
Say Bill, I don't see why I can't bring Lulu.
She's a nice girl.
And say, Bill, would you cal Lulu a flapper?
Sure, but I've got a new name for flappers.
What is it, Bill?
Well, I call em bungalows.
Bungalows? Why do you call em bungalows?
Well, because they're shingled in back, painted in front, and they have no attic.
Ya-ha-ha-ha-ha!

You can bring Claire with her I-don't-care, but don't bring Lulu
You can bring Lil, she's an awful pill, but don't bring Lulu
Lulu has the sweetest smile, keeps us laughing all the while
When she looks at half her best
One eye looks east and the other looks west

You can bring tripe, provided it's right, but don't bring Lulu
Lulu makes noise when she whips the boys, and we're sure to get in Dutch
She's the kind that teases and then does what she pleases
Hulla-ba-loo-loo, don't bring Lulu
She talks too darn much