I know there's never been a man in the awful shape I'm in
I can't even spell my name, my head's in such a spin
Today I tried to eat a steak with a big old tablespoon
You got me chasing rabbits, walking on my hands and howling at the moon

Well sugar, I took one look at you and it almost drove me mad
And then I even went and lost what little sense I had
Now I can't tell the day from night, I'm crazy as a loon
You got me chasing rabbits, pulling out my hair and howling at the moon

Some friends of mine asked me to go out on a hunting spree
Cause there ain't a hound dog in this state that can hold a light to me
I eat three bones for dinner today, then tried to tree a coon
You got me chasing rabbits, scratching fleas and howling at the moon

I rode my horse to town today and a gas pump we did pass
I pulled him up and I hollered "whoa!", and said "fill him up with gas"
The man picked up a monkey wrench and wham! he changed my tune
You got me chasing rabbits, spitting out teeth and howling at the moon

I never thought in this old world a fool could fall so hard
But honey baby, when I fell the whole world must have jarred
I think I'd quit my doggish ways if you'd take me for your groom
You got me chasing rabbits, picking out rings and howling at the moon