Someone poured ketchup on my ice cream
Someone put oysters in my tea
Someone put onions in my chocolate pudding
When they stole your love from me

Someone put sawdust in my sneakers
Someone put ants inside my pants
Someone put itching powder in my laundry
And I scratched away romance

Oh, I could lie right down and cry myself a bucketful of tears
And let them flow like a river from my eyeballs to my ears
I wish I was a bug, I'd take my wings and fly away
I wish I was a worm, I'd crawl into a hole and stay

Someone's been smoking on my peace pipe
Someone got into my teepee
Someone put snowballs in my warm pajamas
And your love turned cold on me

Oh, I could lie right down and cry myself a bucketful of tears
And let them flow like a river from my eyeballs to my ears
I wish I was a bug, I'd take my wings and fly away
I wish I was a worm, I'd crawl into a hole and stay

Someone's been smoking on my peace pipe
Someone got into my teepee
Someone put snowballs in my warm pajamas
And your love turned cold on me

And your love turned cold on me
And your love turned cold on me