Now, I met an old friend in the bar the other night
He got a little drunk and he wanted to fight
He jumped up and challenged every man in the room
And just about the time he got the words out
An old boy jumped up and closed his mouth
And used his head for a mop and his butt for a broom

It was an attitude adjustment, I guess it was his first time
An attitude adjustment, now he understands just fine
He got bent out of shape, then he opened his mouth
And just one appointment straightened him right out
It was an attitude adjustment--it'll work every time

Now I've got this big old brother-in-law
And me and him just never did get along
Cause he just wasn't treating my sister nice
He got drunk one night and started in beating me up
And I went and got a tire tool out of my truck
And laid him out as cold as a block of ice

It was an attitude adjustment and it'll work every time
An attitude adjustment--I made him see the light
Now he says I'm his kind of man
He comes around me with his hat in his hand
It was an attitude adjustment; I cured all his family pride

Now my girlfriend slapped me in the face
And I said "Darling, that was your first mistake"
And then she went wild and her eyes turned red
She started breaking everything and screaming loud
And kicking me and cussing me out
And I gave her a little adjustment on the top of the head

It was an attitude adjustment, ah she loves on me all the time
Just an attitude adjustment--she's got a whole new frame of mind
She don't nag, I don't beg, we get along and like I said
Just an attitude adjustment--ah, everything's just fine

(Well almost)

She called the cops to take me in
And I said "you're never gonna do it, friend"
And they just smiled and said "oh yes we will!"
Now sticks to the head and kicks to the shin
And several bites by Rin Tin Tin
And I couldn't wait to get into that jail

It was an attitude adjustment, oh I went along peacefully
Attitude adjustment, they made me clearly see
So my head is black and my legs are blue
And both knee caps are bit clean through
It was an attitude adjustment
It made my whole life look brand new
Just an attitude adjustment
It made my whole life look brand new

Yes, sir. I understand just fine...perfectly