If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it!
Chattin' to a chimp in chimpanzee
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting to a cheetah
What a neat achievement that would be!

If I could talk to the animals, learn their languages
Maybe take an animal degree
I'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle
Alligator, guinea pig, and flea!

I would converse in polar bear and python
And I would curse in fluent kangaroo
If people ask me "can you speak rhinoceros?"
I'd say "of course-eros! Can't you?"

If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal
Think of the amazing repartee
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they could talk to me!

If I consulted with quadrupeds
Think what fun we'd have asking over crocodiles for tea!
Or maybe lunch with two or three lions, walruses or sea lions
What a lovely place the world would be!

If I spoke slang to orangutans
The advantages any fool on earth could plainly see!
Discussing Eastern art and dramas, with intellectual llamas
That's a big step forward you'll agree!

I'd learn to speak in antelope and turtle
My Pekinese would be extremely good
If I were asked to sing in hippopotamus
I'd say "why not-amous?" and would!

If I could parlay with pachyderms
It's a fairy tale worthy of Hans Andersen or Grimm
A man who walks with the animals, talks with the animals
Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the animals

This is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me, Polynesia
I can't wait to start

It's incredible, it's impossible, but it's true!
A man can talk to the animals
It's a miracle!
In a year from now I guarantee
I'll be the marvel of the mammals
Playing chess with camels, no more just a boring old M.D.

I studied every living creature's language
So I can speak to all of them on sight
If friends say "can he talk in crab or pelican?"
You'll say "like hell he can" and you'll be right

And if you just stop to think of it
There's no doubt of it, I shall win a place in history
I can walk with the animals, talk with the animals
Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals
And they can squeak and squawk and speak and talk
To me!