Sides face grand square
I'm a square dance fanatic, a mild asthmatic
I've never been to second base
But there's a whole 'nother me that you need to see
So go check out MySpace
Allemande and weave
Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
Swing your lady and promenade her real good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
I'm so much cooler on-line

Heads square thru four hands you know
Find that corner lady, dosado
Swing thru tonight, all the boys run right
Half tag and scoot back and go, well now the boys run right
Everybody slide thru, swing and promenade the track
While I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac

Sides face grand square
But online I live in Malibu, I pose for Calvin Klein
I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
Allemande and weave
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
Swing your lady, promenade in time
I'm so much cooler online
Yea I'm so much cooler online

Sides face grand square
When you got my kinda stats it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a buncha weight
Every time I log in
Allemande and weave
Online I live in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler on-line
Swing your girl
I'm so much cooler on-line