Square-Opoly

copyright (c) 1997 by Nasser Shukayr

Have you played the new Board Game "Square-opoly"?  It's fun!  Most board games begin at the START position, but not THIS one.  Before starting this game, you must roll the dice until you overcome all your negative perceptions about square dancing.  This takes most people only about thirty dice-rolls, but some potential players NEVER get past their misconceptions, so they never get to play.

The game starts in the LESSONS phase.  As your game piece (or "petticoat") moves around the board, you'll meet many obstacles.  If you miss two lessons in a row, or if you're a slow learner, or even if you're a FAST learner (and therefore you get bored) you have to drop out of the game.

After the LESSONS phase, your game piece finally gets to the NEW DANCER phase.  A trap occurs at the game position known as "Graduation".  Many pieces drop out of the game at "Graduation".  It's a mystery.

The next game position is "Attend Your First Real Dance".  This is a very RELAXING position, because you get to stand around and watch everyone else move THEIR game pieces through "Plus Tips".  Some players cope with this phase by dropping out of the game.

In the NEW DANCER phase, you can quickly move ahead if your game piece gets recruited by a higher-level club, during the procedure known as "Cherry Picking the Mainstream Clubs".  But if the higher-level clubs do NOT select your game piece, some players feel insulted, so they drop out.

If you've made it to this stage of the game, you now get to start all over in the LESSONS phase for a BRAND-NEW level.  If these lessons are too difficult, or if you miss too many of 'em, or if a higher-level player insults the meager skills of YOUR game piece, the normal response is to drop out of the game.

Eventually you'll get to the EXPERIENCED DANCER phase, where your game piece gets to dance as often as you'd like.  You can score bonus points by going back to the LESSONS or NEW DANCER phase to help new players.

The game features many shortcuts.  For example, you can quickly move from START to EXPERIENCED DANCER.  But if you do, you run the risk of not being able to perform ALL of the moves later in the game.  When this happens, the usual response is to become discouraged and drop out.

In the game's CLUB POLITICS section, you get to make decisions with every move.  It's fun, but also dangerous.  If you make an unpopular decision, the other game pieces become very loud.  But you don't have to put up with their noise.  You can always drop out of the game.

The game features many trap doors.  These are paths with an ENTRY but no EXIT.  These paths have strange names, such as Rounds, Clogging, Advanced, Challenge, Exhibition Groups, and Association Officers.  What do they all have in common?  They all take the best pieces out of the game and never put any new game pieces into the game.

Yes, we have now discovered THE most unique aspect of this game.  There is only ONE way to enter the game (once a year, at the START position), but MANY ways to drop out.

The good news is that those who survive all the game's obstacles will become a  tightly-knit group.  They will enjoy close fellowship and great times.  They will then search the world looking for those FEW people with the RARE ability to SURVIVE the game's many traps, instead of trying to CHANGE the rules of the game so that MORE people can PLAY.

   Nasser "let's WIN the game by changing the rules" Shukayr