DANCER-BOT dances PRECISELY. It can dance either the girl's or boy's part, and will ALWAYS be in the right position at the right time.
DANCER-BOT is the most ADAPTABLE dancer you've ever seen. Configuration is as simple as setting a few switches. After an easy set-up procedure, during which YOU tell DANCER-BOT about your local customs, you're ready to dance! For example, when your square breaks down, DANCER-BOT can be configured to do whatever dancers in your local area normally do. It can form lines at the side position, or look at another square and "make one of those", or stand around looking lost.
If you didn't know otherwise, you'd think DANCER-BOT was a real live dancer. It's always smiling. If others in the square take short-cuts (like Pair Off instead of Square Thru Four), DANCER-BOT follows suit. If you bump and grind on Weave the Ring, so will DANCER-BOT. And with the optional SOUND module, DANCER-BOT makes all the sounds commonly associated with certain square dance calls such as Track II and Load the Boat.
It's very SMOOTH and COMFORTABLE to dance with DANCER-BOT. Standard features include FOUR hands (two held HIGH and two held LOW). The EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION module will gently squeeze your hand (if YOU gently squeeze DANCER-BOT's hand), or will offer a Death-Grip (if this is what you offer to DANCER-BOT). It's YOUR choice.
Believe it or not, a DANCER-BOT in your square actually makes YOU a better dancer! Being a "traffic cop" in the square has now reached an entirely new level. Simply press the "panic button" and a special GUIDANCE SYSTEM lights up to display a map of where everyone in the square is supposed to be.
Being in a square with such an accomplished dancer might give some people
an inferiority complex. Not to worry! DANCER-BOT never blames
YOU if the square breaks down. Here's the sophisticated algorithm
used by the BLAME-PLACING module:
(a) If dancing C-1 or higher, and if Phantoms are in the
square, then blame the phantoms.
(b) If a CALL-BOT is calling, then blame the caller.
(c) If a real live caller is calling, and if the caller
is one of
the few who can actually accept
blame, then blame the caller.
(d) If another DANCER-BOT is in the square, then blame
the other DANCER-BOT.
(e) If none of the above, then DANCER-BOT personally accepts
all of the blame.
So, the question you must ask yourself is, do you WANT a dancer who never misses a dance, never misses a TIP, is a tireless worker for your club, dances perfectly at all times, adapts to all local customs, accepts blame for YOUR mistakes, and posts messages on the internet? WELL, DO YOU WANT ONE, OR NOT? ANSWER THE QUESTION!! YES or NO?? WELL, WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER??
Sorry, you can't have one. Dancers as good as DANCER-BOT are way too good to dance in a square with someone of YOUR meager abilities.
Nasser "this story's ending needs just a little more
work" Shukayr