PRODUCT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS
AND USER'S GUIDE
FOR THIS HERE
SQUARE DANCE RECORD
Warning: It is a violation of applicable law to use this product in any manner other than what was intended. Do NOT remove this label. If you already removed this label, then super-glue it back on.
Do NOT use this product as an electrical insulator, a fire extinguisher, a paper fan, a storm shelter, or a paperweight. Adjust the speed of the record for dancer comfort.
Warning: This product is NOT meant for human consumption. If you accidently ingest this record, immediately find yourself a mirror. Look deeply into the mirror and ask the person you see in there: "Now, WHY Would Anyone Want to Eat a Square Dance Record?"
If record runs out of music before you run out of calls, either pick up the tone arm and set it back on the middle of the record, or if you're one of them rich callers who own the proper gizmo, mash the red button to reset the record.
Notice of Liability: If you call material which is too easy, you'll be accused of "dumbing down" the activity. If you call too hard, you're guilty of making s/d "too complicated". If you call just right, you're guilty of making other callers "look bad". No matter what, everything's YOUR fault. Just thought you needed to know.
Copyright notice: The material on this record is protected under copyright laws and all fees have been paid and don't you dare even think about reproducing this material in any form and if you do, then please don't get caught.
Warranty: Ha ha ha ha. There ain't no such animal.
Partial Money-Back guarantee: If you don't like this record for ANY reason, we understand it brings about 25 cents at garage sales.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE: Practice calling for ten years, then get a booking to call a dance somewhere, then spend your life savings on sound equipment, then dress up like a peacock, then arrive at the dance hall, then be nice to and visit with all the people there, then put the needle on the record, then call.
Nasser "Keep Out of the Reach of Children"
Shukayr