ATTIRE 328: Learn about proper square dance attire. This course requires you to purchase the Official S/D Attire Textbook, Copyright 1962.
BOREDOM 305: Learn how to call boring material that all dancers
can successfully do. This class is very crowded and has a waiting
list, so early registration is advised.
BOREDOM 306: Learn how to call a nice non-boring dance.
BOREDOM 307: Learn how to call a fascinating interesting creative
masterpiece of a dance. The university reserves the right to cancel
this course if the dancers all leave and won't come back.
CLEAR SPEAKING 101: Thu dis courz yule larn ta tawk rite sew fokes'll no wutcher sayun tooem.
FORMATIONS 101: Learn the Basic formations of square dancing.
Class meets for one hour a day.
FORMATIONS 201: Prerequisite--Formations 101. Learn the
MS and Plus formations of square dancing. Class meets for an hour
and a half each day.
FORMATIONS 301: Prerequisite--Formations 201. Learn the
Advanced and Challenge formations of square dancing. Learn how to
clobber a floor with choreo. Class meets seven hours a day.
FORMATIONS 401: Prerequisite--When you're ready for this course,
WE will let YOU know. Learn the left-handed, phantom and matrix versions
of all the above formations, and invent brand-new formations. Class
meets twenty hours a day.
FUN 127: Learn the various types of fun, the nomenclature and etymology of each type, how to transform one type into another, etc., etc., etc. You'll spend so much time studying FUN that this class won't be FUN for you anymore.
LIST TWIDDLING 406: Learn how to fine-tune a program list.
LOCAL POLITICS 225: Discover how to stay completely out of local politics, by applying the "50-year rule". The 50-year rule says that if something won't matter 50 years from now, then don't worry about it today.
MOTIVATION 152: Become a great inspiration to others by learning how to constantly gripe about what others are doing, until they finally wise up and start doing things your correct way.
NATIONAL CALLERS 402: Find the answer to age-old questions, such as "if you're really Nationally Known, then why do you keep telling everyone? Shouldn't they already know?"
PERSONALITY 330: Learn to remain calm, cool and collected under the most trying circumstances. If you can't or won't learn this, the instructor will lose his temper.
PERSONALITY 331: Study characteristics of various personalities you might encounter during your calling career, including Split Personality. No, you're wrong, I took this course, and Split Personality is *not* covered. Oh yes, it is. No, it's not. Aw shaddup. Let's settle this later, just the two of us, okay?
PHANTOMS 409: Learn all about phantoms, and how to make 'em behave even though you can't see 'em.
PRACTICE 101: Improve your skill as a caller by learning how to
practice every day.
PRACTICE 102: Prerequisite--Practice 101. Discover how
an established caller can continue to improve, by practicing every
week.
PRACTICE 103: Prerequisite--Practice 102. When you become
a super-excellent Caller, learn how to maintain your skills by practicing
once a month.
PRACTICE 104: Prerequisite--Practice 103. When you are
finally a better caller than just about anyone else you know of, learn
why practice is for amateurs and is no longer necessary for a caller of
your talent. Note: After taking this course, start all over
again with Practice 101.
PROGRAM LEVELS 201: This course serves as an introduction to the
material in the next course.
PROGRAM LEVELS 202: Prerequisite--Program Levels 201. This
course teaches the basic knowledge needed before you can start a realistic
in-depth study of the subject.
PROGRAM LEVELS 203: Prerequisite--Program Levels 202. This
course is a stepping stone to the next course.
PROGRAM LEVELS 204: Prerequisite--Program Levels 203. After
completing this course, you'll be eligible for the next course, which is
where the "real" fun begins.
PROGRAM LEVELS 205: Prerequisite--Progam Levels 204. Learn
to breeze through these courses. Then, hurry up and take the next
course, or all your friends will take it and pass you by.
PROGRAM LEVELS 206: Prerequisite--Program Levels 205. Learn
why dancers rush up the ladder of program levels, and learn how to prevent
this by setting a positive example with your own actions. These topics
will be developed further in the next course.
RECRUITING 301: Learn how to increase the size of your club by
bringing in non-dancers and teaching them to square dance.
RECRUITING 302: Prerequisite--Recruiting 301. Learn how
to increase the size of your club by stealing dancers from other callers
and clubs.
TRENDS 421: Study future trends in square dancing. Topics include tomorrow's sound equipment, calls that have yet to be invented, and creative "middle name" conjuring.
Nasser "tuition payable in advance" Shukayr