Tower: Flight 1998, you have been re-assigned to a more
popular runway. Please change your heading to aim for the new runway
assignment.
Pilot: No way! I've been using the same runway for
years, and by crackie I'm gonna keep on doing what I've always done and
I ain't about to change.
Tower: Please understand that the runway you've always
used went out of style years ago. Times have changed and you need
to change direction to keep up with the times.
Pilot: Nope. What I've always done has always worked,
and there's no way I'm gonna change.
Tower: Flight 1998, please increase your speed so you can
hurry up and land so your passengers can get on with their busy lives.
Pilot: No way! What difference does it make how
long a flight lasts? I make flying FUN for people. As long
as the passengers are having a good time, it doesn't matter how long the
class, oops I mean the flight, lasts.
Tower: Please be advised that today's lifestyles are busier
than in the past. The world has changed. People are no longer
willing to spend lots of time on the JOURNEY. They want to hurry
up and get to their destination so they can dance with their friends.
Lars: Objection! That's a SHAMELESS plug for "Where
The Action Is" franchised dance halls!
Tower: Flight 1998, HURRY to Where The Action Is!
Pilot: Nope. This flight has been in progress for
40 weeks, everyone is having fun, I'm gonna take my own sweet time, and
I ain't gonna change one bit.
Tower: Um, flight 1998, radar indicates that you're flying
UPSIDE DOWN!
Pilot: Yep. I like to fly from all positions.
If I didn't, the passengers would soon get BORED. Did you know that
when you BANG an upside-down PODIUM, it sounds really COOL? I ain't
gonna change.
Tower: Isn't it interesting that when it comes to CHOREOGRAPHY,
oops I mean aircraft maneuvers, you're willing to experiment with new ideas,
but when it comes to everything ELSE, you won't change in the slightest?
Pilot: Well, that's the way I've always done it.
Tower: Okay, have it YOUR way. We can't dictate.
We can only advise. Your altitude is too high, you're headed towards
the wrong runway, you're taking too long to get there, and your airplane
and podiums are all upside down.
Pilot: That's the way I've ALWAYS done it.
Tower: Flight 1998, we need to know your actual passenger
count, to ensure proper ground support facilities (that is, IF you ever
get here). What is your passenger count?
Pilot: That's what I just CAN'T understand! Years
ago, this airplane was FULL. Now it seems like each flight has fewer
and fewer people. I wonder why the passenger supply dried up all
of a sudden? It's not like we CHANGED anything to make them go away.
We're still doing what we've ALWAYS done.
Nasser "where are all the passengers?" Shukayr