We have become aware of several common procedural errors which seem to occur during the routine stealing of members from other clubs. In order to alleviate this problem, please read the following Advisory Alert.
(1) Always remember the MAIN reason WHY we steal members from other clubs: so we won't have to fool with beginners and new dancers. ALWAYS remember that if our member-stealing campaign should ever fall short, then we might have to start teaching NON-dancers how to dance. And, EVERYONE knows what this would mean. It would mean (shudder the thought) lowering our club's high LEVEL of dancing.
(2) Remember at all times that NOTHING is ever YOUR fault. If a dancer happens to LEAVE their club and join OURS, then there had to be a reason (OTHER than the fact that you ASKED them to leave their club and join ours). Even if there is NOT a good reason, you should still try to convince yourself that your actions are justified.
(3) Sooner or later, someone may point out to you that asking a dancer to leave THEIR club and join OUR club requires the exact SAME amount of effort as asking a NON-dancer to become a square dancer. Please do NOT listen to people who say things like this. There's nothing worse than someone who BLATENTLY supports their OWN personal viewpoint by telling the TRUTH.
(4) Every fact has an UP side and a DOWN side. Try to divulge only the UP side, and either gloss over or completely omit the DOWN side. For example, tell people that our club has a much HIGHER quality of dancing (the UP side). Stop right there, without telling them that we haven't had a beginner class in YEARS (the DOWN side).
(5) Feel free to tell people that members of our club do NOT have to serve on committees (the UP side). Conveniently forget to tell them (the DOWN side) that this is because our club tries to convince NEW members (stolen from other clubs) to do all the work.
(6) Be truthful, but don't always tell people EVERYTHING you know. For example, tell prospective members that we NEED forward-thinking people, just like them, on our Board of Directors. There's no need to tell 'em that the Board currently consists of one hundred and twenty eight Directors.
(7) Please don't become TOO serious about the business of stealing dancers from other clubs. It is NOT meant to be serious. In fact, it's only a GAME. And, every game has RULES. And, the rules of this game are: if our club steals MORE of THEIR members than their club steals from us, WE WIN!
By following the above guidelines, we can rest assured that all of our club's dance experiences will be enjoyable and of the highest quality (the UP side). The DOWN side is that by concentrating on stealing experienced dancers back and forth between clubs (instead of getting dancers from the same place everyone else gets 'em, namely, by asking non-dancers to become dancers), we will eventually run slap out of old dancers to steal back and forth between clubs.
Which would you rather have: high-quality dance experiences for a SHORT while, or LOW-quality dance experiences for a LONG while? Either way, your answer is correct. No matter how you answered this question, we NEED forward-thinking people, just like you, on our club's Board of Directors.
Nasser "come join us" Shukayr