Them: Central Casting.
You: Yes, we're doing a TV show, and we need some square
dancers. Please send over a square of dancers, as soon as possible.
Them: No problem. Would you prefer young folks or old folks?
You: Young.
Them: CALLERLAB list or ACA list?
You: CALLERLAB
Them: Hands Up ocean waves or Hands Down ocean waves?
You: Doesn't matter.
Them: Plain-vanilla or all position?
You: Look, we just need a square of dancers for a TV show.
Them: You can't be too careful about these things. Please
answer the questions.
You: Hands up waves. All position. How soon
can you send the dancers over here?
Them: Traditional Attire or Prairie Skirt?
You: Prairie skirt. Now can I get my square of dancers?
Them: Mainstream or Plus?
You: Look, send me those dancers, and HURRY!
Them: In favor of or opposed to change? Make lines when
their square breaks down, or square up at home? Straight or Gay?
Prefers patter or singing calls?
You: ARRRRGGHH! Why is it so hard to just get a square
of dancers?
Them: Please answer the questions.
You: Mainstream, in favor of change, make lines, straight,
singing calls. Now will you please send the dancers over here?
Them: Back-to-Back DoSaDo, or Hungarian Swing?
You: Doesn't Matter! YOU pick! Just send me
those dancers, NOW!
Them: Very well. Only a few more questions ...
You: NO MORE QUESTIONS! Send me a square of young,
CALLERLAB-list, hands-up, all-position, prairie-skirt, mainstream, in-favor-of-change,
line-makin', straight, singin'-call, you-pick-'em dancers, and I mean RIGHT
NOW!
Them: Okay, hang on, I'll check ...
Them: Sorry, we don't have any of those in stock. Perhaps
if you weren't so choosy ...
Nasser "now you'll have to answer all the questions
again" Shukayr