25 Years from Now

by: Nasser Shukayr

The following newscast will air in the year 2020 (18 years from now):

Square Dancing is now the official folk dance of all 63 states, most foreign countries, five different planets, and seven star clusters.

CALLERLAB-IP, the Inter-Planetary association of Square Dance Callers, announces a new Square Dancing Brain Implant, thus reducing the learning time to mere minutes. One quick painless surgical procedure, during which a special computer chip is implanted in the brain, and suddenly you can do all the calls from all positions, and in four dimensions.

The UCA (Universal Callers Association) counters CALLERLAB-IP's announcement with their own version of a brain implant. Although the UCA's computer chip features a slightly different set of calls, it costs less, is reportedly easier to implant into someone's brain, and one size fits all.

WOL (World On-Line) announces a toll-free number to call, to find out where in your area you can get one of the Square Dancing Computer Chip Brain Implants. Thousands of people call in, creating the loudest Busy Signal in history. WOL says "we're aware of the problem, but we don't yet have an Estimated Time To Fix".

The IPEC (Inter-Planetary Executive Committee) announces the next SSSDC (Solar System Square Dance Convention) will be held on the East side of the planet Mars. A new group forms, CW (Cosmic West), to produce and host a convention on the West side of Mars.

Les Gotcher of Hawaii recently became the first recipient of the Century Award, for 100 years of square dance calling. However, Les was not present to receive his award, because he was out somewhere calling a square dance. Les reportedly said, "if the REST of you are still around in ANOTHER hunnert years, maybe I'll pick up both the first AND second awards at the same time."

This just in ... the CALLERLAB-IP GMC (Gripe, Moan, and Complain) committee is studying why people would undergo the surgery to get the Square Dancing Brain Implant and then never go to a dance, and also why young people don't want to get the Brain Implant because they say it makes their head look funny.

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